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Joke of the Day

"Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated? His family advertised it as a barbecue."

Next Joke
 
"Ancestry.com will not get a cent of my money until they can tell me which apes I came from."
"I won't get a girl pregnant because I only have sex at night, when my sperm is asleep."
"My phone died, so I was forced to ""print"" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days"
"*sees a guy snap fingers at a server. I reach for my bag* Wife: No. We only have one left. We have a baby. Me: (to genie) take his fingers"
"If towels told jokes... They'd probably have a very dry sense of humor."
"Because it's funny! What do you call a stripper you pay with noodles? A PASTATUTE!!!"
"If you and jack were horseback riding Would you help jack off the horse?"
"One day I'll cure deafness... You hear me!"
"the karate policy at this nursing home is bullshit"