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Joke of the Day

"Diner: Waiter please close the window. Waiter: Why is there a draft? Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times."

"What do rappers use to write their lyrics? Word,yo."

"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""

"A history joke Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!"

"Why wouldn't they let Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman"

"Why did the horny girl go to Subway? For a $5 footlong."

"What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter? A rashtag."

"Are you a black hole? Because when I see you my legs get all *spaghettified*. *Courtesy of my friend*"

"I went on a tour of a soap factory last week. I forgot which one it was, but I'm sure it will Dawn on me."

"What are you people doing? making this crap up."