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Joke of the Day

"What do pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common? Flatbush"

"A man brings some condoms to the cashier... ""I thought those were $4.99"" said the man ""35 cents for the tax"" replied the cashier ""Oh, I was wondered what kept those things on."""

"That awkward moment when you see someone that you've been texting all day and you have nothing to say because you already know everything."

"Having sex is like playing bridge....!!!! If you don't have a good partner,you better have a good hand..."

"You, me, a bottle of wine, soft music, a picnic basket, a strange growl, a bear, a tree, coyotes, a rescue chopper, a hospital, dessert."

"Knock knock. Who's there? A cow. A cow who? Not a cow ""who""! A cow moos. An owl says ""who""."

"I met a girl named Nirvana yesterday... I asked her ""Did your parents give you than name while you were still In Utero?"". She was like ""What?"".. I just shook my head and said ""Nevermind...""."

"We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams."

"Have you heard of the Tempura House? It's a shelter for lightly battered women."

"I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog. It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime."