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Joke of the Day

"Three elephants jump out of a plane. Two hit the ground and one lands in the water! Ba dum tssshhh!"

"I was in a relationship with a chimera, but it got weird. She wouldn't stop calling me ""daddy""."

"My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow.."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a feminist hippie chick? A hockey player will take a shower after three periods."

"What does Batman like in his lemonade? Just ice."

"What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line? A nice hare cut"

"I've developed a fear of imitation ale, It's a faux beer."

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't need to, they glow in the dark..."

"A kid is playing with his Testicles, while his mom baths him... ""Mommy is this my brain?"" ""Not yet sweetheart, not yet"""

"Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG"