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Joke of the Day

"What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."

"Why can't ghosts have babies? Because they have Hollow-Weenies!"

"I wrote 2793 tweets in advance. So if I die tomorrow, you won't know until 2018."

"Ever notice that Reddit is obsessed with correcting mistakes? Me to."

"What do cows that are stoners say? 420 graze it"

"what do you call a black horse? a neigh-gro"

"Never ask a shepherd how many sheep he owns, I don't think he'd know, he probably falls asleep every time he takes inventory."

"I don't see why racists are upset with Harriet Tubman being on the $20 bill... They can finally legally own a black person again."

"How does the Rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it"

"Could you play us a song? Cat Stevens: Maybe. *Sets guitar on table* Cat Stevens: *Maintains eye contact-slowly pushes guitar off table*"