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Joke of the Day
"What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast? Weedie Bix!!"
Next Joke
"There is no ""ea"" in Tim."
"TIL that some barbers have haircut numbers ""Honey, I just went to the barbershop and had a fantastic number 2!"""
"At the hospital... NSFW At the hospital, I overheard two doctors discussing a patient that came in with six plastic horses stuck in his rectum. They described the patient's condition as stable..."
"Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth."
"""Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..."" -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell"
"I hope I don't get bitten by a vampire when I'm old and have to spend eternity as a senior citizen."
"What's an elephant's most sexual organ? It's foot. Because if it stands on you you're fucked."
"If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help."
"I'm neither going to heaven or hell. I'm coming straight back because Hindus believe in reincarnation."