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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the buddhist accept the Nitrous Oxide for his root canal? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication."

"*jumps into volcano as sacrifice* *volcano spits me back out*"

"The Dark Knight Rises.....a porn title that requires no alterations."

"Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine."

"Just saw a fly on my flight and all I could think was what a lazy piece of shit."

"The best thing about Twitter & Instagram is that every girl finally gets to be a princess, or a _princess, or even a prin_cess."

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch them all."

"I start a lot of conversations with ""goodbye"" in hopes that I trick people into thinking we already talked."

"How can you tell your roommate is of the gay? His dick tastes like shit"

"Q: What part of the road is always crying? A: The breakdown lane."