139256

Joke of the Day

"The best thing about Twitter & Instagram is that every girl finally gets to be a princess, or a _princess, or even a prin_cess."

"What do you call a gay farmer? A jolly rancher!"

"[school] Ok class, what was Abraham Lincoln most famous for doing? Billy? ""Abolishing slavery."" And... ""Slaying vampires."" Very good."

"I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up"

"*rubs lamp* Genie: ""you get three wishes"" Me: ""I wish I wasn't so alone"" Genie: ""k wow I'm like right here"""

"what's black, white, orange and terrifying? My voters pamphlet."

"What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off before I jump on a trampoline"

"Facebook told me my new password was too long... All I typed in was ""My Dick""."

"Why are people pissed off that Justin Bieber smoked some weed? It's not like he released another album or anything."

"NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!"