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Joke of the Day

"2 nuns are riding their bikes to church As they're riding, one nun says to the other ""I've never come this way before"". The other nun turns to her and says ""It's the cobblestone""."

"I eat so much bacon my friends gave me a nickname... Kermit the frog."

"I never ask my kids to call me, I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts."

"""Dad, why isn't there chocolate meatloaf?"" - my brilliant 3 year old son Patrick"

"If it weren't for twitter I wouldn't know what it feels like to go unnoticed. Just kidding, I'm married. I know exactly how that feels."

"Eggs What does an embryo say when it's serious? No yolk!"

"Einstein took naps during the day. So if you want to be smarter, my advice is to take more naps while having an IQ of 160."

"Movie Idea: Lohan. Bynes. Statham. DEATH RACE 2"

"Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card? Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now? Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!"

"What do you call a lost crayon? a Strayola"