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Joke of the Day

"If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism."

"My angry wife left me after she said "".. eat shit and die! "" And all I said was: ""So dinner is ready?""."

"What's the definition of a good buddy? [NSFW] A guy that goes into town and gets two blow jobs. Then comes back and gives you one."

"If you're gonna write a 300 word Instagram description for your photo, go ahead & throw a murder confession in there. Nobody will ever know."

"There's a new police bar in town. I hear it's very copular."

"A student was writing all his answers in ||||| format... Teacher: What are you doing? Student: I am writing all my answers in bar code, so that no one can copy it... New Method of Answer"

"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.. Ha, ha fooled you, I'm a submarine."

"A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort,, it is equal to one night.. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers."

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says, ""You man the guns, I'll drive""."

"two elephants and a drum kit fall of a cliff... badum-dum-tish"