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Joke of the Day

"The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon."

Next Joke
 
"Listening to dubstep. Wait nope just my cat tumbling in the dryer."
"What happens when a guy with no legs dies? He punches the bucket"
"I want to apologize for the awful true things I said when I was angry."
"A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... and a mop."
"The baby Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, ""I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..."" ""Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."""
"I wish I was a Farmer So I could be outstanding in my field."
"How do you project confidence? Multiply by the cosine of the angle."
"Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop."
"Every tweet ever tweeted begins with an implied ""None of y'all asked my opinion, but ..."""