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Joke of the Day
"Every tweet ever tweeted begins with an implied ""None of y'all asked my opinion, but ..."""
Next Joke
"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can't beat a wank!"
"TIL that the famous teacher Anne Sullivan once accidentally taught the wrong class after the legitimate teacher couldn't make it and the alternate teacher was late. Whoops, wrong sub."
"Two mice were chewing on a film roll ..when one of them says: *I think the book was better*"
"I remember.. going to a store with 20$ and coming home with groceries to last for a week. But now? Damn security cameras everywhere.."
"""Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?"" ""No."" ""Why not, sir?"" ""Because, it would make my rabbi sad."""
"I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs."
"[Morgan Freeman narrating my life] ""He's still sleeping."""
"What are the bouncers called at a gay bar? Flamethrowers."
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."