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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a guy with no legs dies? He punches the bucket"

"Shakespeare's The Life and Death of King Richard III Spoiler Alert: Richard III dies in the end."

"I cut my little finger today... ... because I didn't like the way it looked."

"I broke up with this cross eyed girl... I thought she was seeing someone else."

"My Wife caught me blow drying my shaft And Asked me what was i doing. Apparently heating your dinner was not the right answer"

"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."

"Pornhub has banned submissions of the Germany-Brazil game. They don't allow rape videos."

"The only upside to Trump's big wall is that Texas will finally get some of Banksy's Art. Maybe like a little girl and a soldier with a gun"

"I constantly google ""how to put your kids up for adoption"" so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I'm not messing around."

"If you smoke a lot of cigarettes & gaze out of a window while your foot is propped up on something you can figure out pretty much anything."