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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you drop your frozen waffle at the beach? A San Diego"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? The canoe tips."
"Wife: he's always confusing sayings... Therapist: what if you're just misinterpreting him? Me: oooh, check you out playing devil's avocado"
"What kind of pistol should you use to shoot a bear? The one with the smallest barrel. It hurts the least when the bear shoves it up your ass."
"I'm an undecided voter. Shoot myself, overdose, or jump off a cliff?"
"How did one Brain apologise to the other? I'm cerebro"
"Her: ""Honey, I want to be with you 24/7"" Him: ""Ok, see you on the 24th of July"""
"Why are Jewish men Circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"
"Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color"
"hello and welcome to Fantasy Football *Dumbledore passes ball to Frodo* *Gandalf intercepts football and eats it*"