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Joke of the Day

"Wife: he's always confusing sayings... Therapist: what if you're just misinterpreting him? Me: oooh, check you out playing devil's avocado"

"A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says ""Penguins can't fly."""

"Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant? Here teacher said to go home and do her ""essay""."

"Patient: ""It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."" Dentist: ""I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."""

"What do we want?! Redundancy! What do we want?! Red-uhh. redundancy?"

"Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral? The guest of honor always shows up late!"

"What kind of person do people hate moving in next to them that starts with an 'N' and ends with an 'r'? [NSFW] A 'neighbor,' you racist fuck!"

"The first rule of Alzheimer's's Club? The first rule of Alzheimer's's Club, Is that you don't talk about Chess Club."

"My friend would be alive today... if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. >""Am I going to live?"" >""I don't know."" >""Read faster!"""

"""Y'know, I've realize something. In almost every Western cartoon there is talking animals in it."" ""Hmm, I can't really think of any."" The pig replied."