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Joke of the Day

"Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color"

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"Are the Nazis who fought in WWII veteran-Aryans? And can I bring my dog to them for a checkup?"
"What do you get a first dad for father's day? Condoms. Courtesy of my witty ole' uncle mike"
"An Indian can do anything for sex Even marriage"
"Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire."
"Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic."
"The last time people got so upset over a cup.. It involved two girls."
"Calm down, white people expertly wielding chopsticks to eat pad thai."
"Touched by Jesus Great words to hear in church, not so great to hear in a Mexican prison."
"Do you like tapes and CDs? Cuz I'm gonna tape my dick to your forehead, so you can see deez nuts."