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Joke of the Day

"Someone ordered a lion statuette for a Pride parade Apparently there was a mixup at the manufacturer and they only sent the rear half of the lion. What followed was a catastrophe"

"A boring joke I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your scottish garden? You root it ooot!"

"A bartender walks into... ...a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard? The Stones say ""hey you get off of my cloud!"" The Shepard says ""hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"""

"A granny comes to see a doctor - and the doctor is a granny too."

"What idiot called it ""insomnia"" and not ""resisting a rest""?"

"Dear Monday: I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."

"Would you like to hear an original joke about Anal Beads...? Well, if you're lucky, later on in the night I might try to slip one in..."

"Life isn't about winning and losing. It's about wishing you would have won and wondering why you lost."