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Joke of the Day
"Friend at Memorial Day BBQ: I see you wasted no time with the white pants. Me: These are my legs."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between you and a bag of shit? You're not in a bag."
"My dog is attacking a tree. ""Bark, bark, bark , bark."""
"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"
"I got screwed by a man in a wig yesterday... He was judging me the whole time."
"A man goes to a doctors office Patient: I have been having a lot of pain in my ear Female doctor: Sir, I think you have an ear infection. Patient: But u havn't even looked at my penis"
"I wrote a joke about pigeons. Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo"
"Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me asked what I thought of her flip flops? Bloody horrible I said ""Put your bikini top back on"""
"What do you call a blind, mentally handicapped, quadriplegic? You can call him whatever you want; it's not like he's going to get up and do anything about it."
"What's the difference between a 3 figure and a 4-figure suit? 1 figure, literally and figuratively."