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Joke of the Day

"My wife died last week It's ironic because her zodiac symbol was cancer. She was killed by a giant crab"

"Girls are so confusing She said ""don't stop"" and now I'm in jail."

"What do you call a lame horse? Elmer"

"Thinking about getting married? My wife got mad at me for doing all the yard work because we are in a fitbit step challenge together."

"Ovens You hear? Germany is now coming out with a new line of ovens...4 seaters and 6 seaters"

"I love the Lion King... ...but Simba is so slow. Sometimes I wish he'd Mufasa."

"A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm. So he asks him, ""you shearing?"" The other answers ""nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."""

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I said, ""That's a pretty big word for a six year old."""

"Today I was walking down the street today and a guy threw a slice of cheese at me. That's mature."

"How does Tinkerbell pleasure herself? She hides inside a flower and waits for a butterfly to extend its proboscis."