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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a a bar The bartender says ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies ""My alcoholism is destroying my family"" I'm here all week folks"

"Dad, i know I'm adopted Hi adopted, im not dad."

"if you watch Titanic from d back; it's about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England"

"Me: I LOVE Pokemon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:"

"SpaceX to begin development on their new pocket rocket. For when you want an *explosive* orgasm."

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

"Where do Muslims go after their Friday prayer? To the Allahu Akbar"

"I'm a triple threat. My singing, dancing, and acting are all threateningly terrible."

"[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend"

"Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd? But when they pronounced it, the word came out ""C-eh"" ""N-eh"" ""D-eh"""