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Joke of the Day

"Why can't muslims eat pigs? Because the Quran forbids cannibalism"

"I've only ever met white people with gluten allergies"

"What's the difference between OP and eggs? Eggs actually get laid."

"If only the Olympics had an event that involved falling down and not spilling your drink..."

"Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy why do you keep coming back? Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife's cooking."

"Anyone else get the feeling their being watched? NSA: They're."

"What do you do when you are riding on the back of a zebra, right next to a camel, and a lion won't stop chasing you? Get off the carousel, dumb ass. You're drunk."

"I'm at home eating grape jelly. That shit is my jam."

"What is the difference between Spain and edge of table Cup stays longer on edge of table"

"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"