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Joke of the Day

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? denimdenimdenim"

"Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court? Because he heard the Ref was Blowing Fowls."

"TIL Every animal has its own specific mating call A bird sings, a frog croaks, a badger clickets, a grasshopper chirps, a deer croons, and I beg."

"People always ask what's the best sport to watch at home. It's obviously volleyball because I can't whip my dick out in the stands."

"I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby."

"I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I'm lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles."

"Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army."

"If John Lennon made a rap song today It would go... I'm in love with the Yoko! Them other Beatles thinking oh no! Now they wanna go solo! But no one give a fuck about Ringo!"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? Wouldn't you if your name was Hhuuuurrrnnnnggg."

"Somehow my beach-bod went to a dad-bod and unfortunately now it's more of a beached-dad-bod."