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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Canadian in a blizzard? Cold."

"Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasn't finished.."

"If cats could talk, they would talk a lot of shit, I bet."

"I'm Not Racist! Racism is a crime... ...and crime is for black people."

"My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight.... The viewing is at 7pm."

"did you hear about the rock and roll fishmonger? they sell skate, mackerel and roe."

"My girlfriend is a pornstar... She's going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

"its illegal to pick beer bottle up off the side of the road they're native artifacts"

"Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today."

"What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on? Namaste (nah-ima-stay)"