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Joke of the Day

"Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasn't finished.."

"What did the fish say when it hit a wall? DAM."

"Q: On a scale from 1 to 10, what is your favorite color in the english alphabet? A: Yes"

"People are like books. You can't judge them by appearance alone and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."

"Donald Trump, George Zimmerman, and DJ Khaled walk into a bar. Said bar is immediately shut down; State law bans brothels and with three massive attention whores in one room they kinda have no choice."

"Why did 6 wanna fuck 7? Cus 7 8 ass."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss."

"Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers? Bonos."

"Dumb and Nobody in class... Dumb: Teacher!! Teacher!! Nobody is bothering me. Teacher: Kid, are you dumb? Dumb: Yes."

"ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business"