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Joke of the Day

"My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight.... The viewing is at 7pm."

"What kind of bone will a dog never eat? A trombone! From Fargo Ep. 2"

"What's Dee Barnes favourite headphones? Beats by Dre"

"Tuesday walks into a bar sits down, hangs his head, and says why me."

"What is the loneliest number? My phone number, call me please! #Please don't"

"What has 4 eyes and cannot see? Mississippi."

"Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn't made me look insane 10,000 times."

"What did my Dominican girlfriend say when she saw me at the pet store? Ay puppi."

"Pool Went for a swim in one of those infinity pools earlier...couldn't finish a length :-("

"Why should you never trust a cheap circumcision? It's a total ripoff."