126915

Joke of the Day

"How to tell if an orange likes to party Just Invitamin-C."

"My walls are closing in. Crawling in my skin my Cell walls are closing in? HELP!"

"my mom discovered slang. she just texted me ""sup?"" and i wrote back ""not much nigga! just cold kickin it with my breezies!"""

"A man was walking his dog through a graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone. ""Morning!"" he said. The other man replied, ""No, just taking a shit."""

"I texted my girlfriend ""I love you"" and she texted back ""I love you more. When I went to respond I made a typo and sent ""I love you moist""....I figured why correct it, it's true too."

"*sees guy having a heart attack* me: quick somebody push a cookie in his mouth! person: isn't that for diabetics? me: it's what I would want"

"What did the woodworm say to the chair ? It's been nice gnawing you !"

"I just used Oxi Clean for the first time, and it's amazing. I'm starting to think Michael Jackson put it in his bath water."

"And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up."

"The sheer terror of laughing at a joke you didn't understand and then someone asking you to explain it to them."