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Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"You call comcast and end up speaking to apu in India, how do your problems get fixed? When they transfer you to steve."

"What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan"

"""70% of the people don't know how to use the superlative degree in English"" That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard."

"Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides."

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."

"Girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""this isn't working, you take everything too literally"". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one."

"A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend knows the password to your phone so they can delete all your nude selfies if you die"

"What does a rusty cow say? MgOOOO!!!"

"How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years"