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Joke of the Day

"Girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""this isn't working, you take everything too literally"". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one."

"Ddi Humpty Dumpty have a good winter? No, but he had a great Fall."

"The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in sell it and return to step 1."

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like.. Bananas"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because of type advantage"

"My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets."

"The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."

"I used to be into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia... ... until I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough."

"You know what really makes my day? The rotation of the earth"