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Joke of the Day

"Two horses are standing in a field. ""I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"" Says the first. ""Moo!"" says the second"

"My recipe spilled over a little because I put baking soda in my chicken broth It wasn't a big soup rise"

"I made a movie about freezing time I showed it to some people, but they thought it was just a picture. It's 3 hours and 27 minutes long...if you don't pause"

"I wish my girlfriend was like my internet My internet goes down once a week for at least two hours"

"Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can't find herself a man. She doesn't like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn't like her."

"What does a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer."

"They should have never given you girls fake eyelashes. This chick just blinked and it sounded like a flock of pigeons took off."

"Me: Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon? Coach: Me: Coach: Me: Oh. You said HUDDLE up, didn't you?"

"Pretty ironic how there's an active ingredient in marijuana."

"I saw a beaver movie last night. And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen."