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Joke of the Day

"Whenever there's an awkward silence, try whispering, ""Did you forget your line?"""

"What do vegetarian worms eat?? Linda Mcartney"

"Cannibal (N.) ~ Someone who is fed up with people."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue? I knew you'd get stuck."

"I always get confused between bi and semi Which one means you like to fuck 18 wheelers?"

"What's Hillary Clinton's key to success? The Delete Key"

"Pickup line Hey there, wanna come over and watch porn on my 50 inch flat-screen mirror?"

"Trying to grab something out of my minivan while the automatic door is closing is the most Indiana Jones-y part of my day."

"I guess it's not socially acceptable to put my hand in the shape of a gun into my mouth in the middle of a conversation."

"I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That's just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours."