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Joke of the Day

"I went to get lyposuction the other day. It really takes a lot out of you. (Thought of this one in the shower :D)"

"Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar. The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison."

"Question: In China... ...is everything ""Made in China""?"

"So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? ""Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."""

"My wife came back really upset from her doctor's appointment -What did he say my love? -He said we cannot have sex for at least a month... -How that? -He is on vacation in Barbados for a month..."

"Are you made of berillium, gold and titanium? Because you are BeAuTiful."

"You know you've been coding for too long when... System.express(feelings.tired);"

"I wish the GPS lady would periodically say things like ""Doin' great"" or ""Still going the right way, good job."""

"Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer? In denial."

"Why did Jesus walk on water? Because niggas can't swim"