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Joke of the Day

"Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar. The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison."

"I am as a wake as a funeral."

"There's no gangsta way to say ""Oopsie Daisy."" I know that now."

"Ever since the news came out about Samsung.... Their phones have been blowing up."

"I already know what I want to be when I get older.. Younger"

"Two handicapped men walk into a bar... PRAISE THE LORD!!"

"Doctor, does being obese impede my chances off a normal sex life? No, but it does add weight to the problem."

"Never date a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"My sex life is like a Ferrari! I don't have a Ferrari."

"My son is suspended? Yes, in-school suspension. So he goes to school? Yes, but he's suspended. Suspended IN THE SCHOOL? Yes. Idiot."