219624

Joke of the Day

"Are you made of berillium, gold and titanium? Because you are BeAuTiful."

"What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria? A map."

"I'm so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign. And before that, we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that shit."

"Made up a classy joke, give me your feedback... I broke up with my clone the other day. Being sincere, I told him ""its not you, its me""."

"Why can't the insecure fish sing well? He's never comfortable in his own scales."

"What's a russian's favorite golf club? A putin wedge."

"Diet - day 1: I have removed all bad food from the house...it was delicious."

"TIL an African grey parrot, who lives an incredibly long life, can learn up to the vocabulary of an 8 year old. So when do you have the sex talk?"

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot."

"My doctor told me I'm artistic. I have no idea how he could tell."