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Joke of the Day
"Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words."
Next Joke
"My friend asked me... My friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said wtf man it's 2016 you can use whatever printer you want"
"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping ever since."
"What's the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee? Nothing neither one has been working since Tuesday..."
"What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes? Inzest"
"Just got added to a list called ""people."" Glad I made that cut."
"""..,you will die in seven days"" *creepy voice on the phone* Me; ""new phone, who dis?"""
"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One WALKS on the MOON, and the other fucks little children."
"What do these owners think when choosing music for their stores restroom? ""oh yeah people like to listen to this when they're taking a shit"""
"My son just announced ""I like snacks."" I'm off to draft a press release."