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Joke of the Day

"*gets first nose bleed since childhood* Apparently our periods have synced, can I have some Midol and a tampon?"

"I need a new gimmick. What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards? Would you buy that? Like ""whoa, who's that drifter?!"""

"A Mexican magician says that he'll disappear on the count of three... ""Uno... dos..."" POOF! He disappeared without a tres."

"I've always wanted to improve my knowledge of Greek Mythology.... It's been my achilles elbow for quite some time."

"What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box? All dressed up, with no place to go."

"If I'm ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand."

"What do you call a black cop? Suicidal."

"Which honorary degree is to be awarded to someone who has made contributions to PHP ? Ph.P."

"Do you know any snake jokes? 'cause I serpently don't."

"Why did the blonde call an exterminator? Her computer had a bug..."