99744

Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me if I could stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"

"Masturbation isn't illegal ...but I'm sure if it was, people would take the law into their own hands."

"It's a real shame Friday doesn't come as quick as I do"

"Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?"

"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."

"Fiance' works at an old folks home and said that they had the heater up to far all day. I guess you can say that she was... Sweating with the Oldies!"

"Next time at a public swimming pool just stop, look around & ask yourself: ""Is there anyone here that I would want to take a bath with?"""

"I don't trust a taxi cab that has more than two air fresheners."

"Terry Schiavo's husband might have kept her alive if he was a vegan. Then he would have an all he can eat vegetable."

"What's a cherry's favorite sex position? on top"