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Joke of the Day

"How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Asking because it's been a week and mine still hasn't."

"So apparently the Phillies aren't serving beer this year... They lost the opener Stupid but its an Uncle joke so I had to"

"There are hundreds of ways to make a woman happy and only one to make a man happy: LEAVE HIM ALONE."

"Yo' momma so stupid... she thought euthanasia was a student exchange program."

"Long John Silver's is the perfect representation of corporate greed. Nearly everything that company does is selfish."

"(sees someone doing a texas chainsaw massacre) um can you not"

"What happens to garlic sauce over time? The sausages."

"This bloke said to me, ""Tim, as a young boy, was your mother very strict with you?"" I said, ""Let me make one thing absolutely clear. My mother was never a young boy."""

"Nobel Prize winners are a lot like farmers Oftentimes they are outstanding in their field."

"My friend went whale watching the other day... I didn't know people were paying to take pictures of my ex."