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Joke of the Day

"What did Geoffrey Dahmer say..... What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Are you going to eat that?"

"Ever since childhood I've identified as a hippo. While other kids were playing, I savagely mauled villagers. #TransSpecies"

"Thinking of getting another bed just for all my laundry"

"This strange woman won't stop talking to me so I'm going to stare at her eyebrows until she gets paranoid and leaves me alone."

"I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable."

"What does Taylor Swift say when going down a slide? Weeeeeeeeeee, are never never never, getting back together."

"What's the difference between fish and meat? If you beat your fish, it will die."

"40 world leaders are in DC tonight. Blocks away, George Clinton is playing a show. Does Joe Biden know what a big funking deal that is?"

"No officer, Vodka and I were hanging out and this car decided to join us."

"Which Fruit Can't Get Married??"