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Joke of the Day

"Pizza Hut: May I take your order? Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian? Pizza Hut: Yes, but don't ever call me vegetarian again."

"It's Saturday, so I'm as lazy as the guy who drew the Japanese flag."

"A pond would tell you about introspection if it wasn't so busy self-reflecting."

"Did you hear that Rene Descartes accidentally committed suicide? He just wasn't thinking."

"What does a baby computer call it's father? Data"

"Why is it so easy to fool an octopus? They're all suckers."

"If I had a dollar for every time I was racially accepting I'd be as poor as a no good, dirty mexican."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery bag? You take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way. One of my all time faves. If you say it out loud it will make sense :D"

"A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window."

"I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together."