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Joke of the Day

"You think if I tell my dad ""30 is the new 20"" he'll start paying all my bills for me again like he did 10 years ago?"

"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"I like to write all my death threat letters in Comic Sans. I find it lightens the mood."

"It doesn't matter how up-to-date your donor card is, the hospital gets really judgey when you drop off a liver unannounced."

"Which part of an eagle is the hardest? The pecker."

"How did Jesus feel after the Romans killed him? He felt pretty cross."

"What do you call a big trash can? A dumpster. LOLOLOLOL"

"What the heck does the ""z"" in ""LOLZ"" mean.... ""Laugh Out Loud.... Zebras?"

"""Where is the remote?"" ""All the way over there."" ""Guess I'm watching this."""

"How can you tell if Hillary Clinton is lying? She's moving her lips."