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Joke of the Day

"You think if I tell my dad ""30 is the new 20"" he'll start paying all my bills for me again like he did 10 years ago?"

"""You are accused of polygamy"" ""And who pressed charges? ""Your wife"" ""Which one exactly?"""

"Did you here about the gay midget? He finally came out of the cabinet"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet Adele (Hello from the other side)"

"Who was the greatest prostitute of all time? Ms. Pacman. for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls until she died"

"What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas? ... a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it."

"Looking back on Britain's 2016. The year most middle aged men went from wanting to fuck Nigella to wanting to fuck Nigel up."

"How does a ghost eat a hotdog? By goblin it. Sorry"

"My boss told me, ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."". I'm currently sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my batman costume!"

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof* and he disappeared without a tres."