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Joke of the Day

"If you want someone to like you never text first. If they text you then don't text back. Never, ever talk. It's the only way to make it work"

Next Joke
 
"It's terrible waking up with regret. Perhaps if she changed her name I'd feel better."
"Why did the lawyer go to the tailor? He wanted a law-suit"
"me: *rubs lamp* genie: I will grant you three wishes me: can you go away I'm rubbing this lamp"
"What kind of pants does Mario wear? denim denim denim"
"Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running."
"I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. ""I haven't decided yet.""."
"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."
"A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal."
"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"