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Joke of the Day

"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."

"(Offensive joke) What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven? 2 large planes"

"Did you hear about the new farmers dating site? It's full of hoes."

"Why is a nosey pepper so annoying? He's jalapeno business"

"Did you guys hear about that guy who died? He was famous for giving sheep haircuts. Did that for over 25 years. They say he died from shear boredom."

"Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them."

"What's the difference between wild Iranian Ossetra caviar and my penis? One is a delicacy (Deh-Lih-Cuh-See) and the other is a delicady (Deh-Lih-Cuh-Dee) Edit: The D"

"[at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. ""Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine"" Strong smokey undertone"

"They call it The ""I'm listening"". They call it The Dr. Crane. They call it... ... tossed salad and scrambled eggs."

"Whats the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."