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Joke of the Day

"I like to walk up to psychics, punch them in the face and say... ""Betcha didn't see that one coming"""

"I hated the new X-men movie. Professor X was so lame."

"Whats a caged animal's favorite food? Zoocchini"

"The town council of Blarney, Ireland held a contest for a new tourism slogan... The winner was ""Pog mo Stone."""

"A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"My fridge is so empty, I just saw a fly in my kitchen wearing a pastry apron, kneading dough and mumbling ""He doesn't even buy bread."""

"When in Rome... Crucify Jesus"

"I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised."

"what do you call a jamaican proctologist? POKE-MON!"

"I stopped living paycheck to paycheck... ...now I live direct deposit to direct deposit."