152018

Joke of the Day

"Them: What would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail? Me: Probably eat spaghetti while wearing a clean gray sweatshirt."

"What do you call a dead bee? A was."

"When I draw a fish I always.... ... Draw it to scale"

"Monkey Jokes are alway funny Two monkeys in a bath, The first Monkey says O OOH OOK OOH OOK OOH OOK OOH AHHHHH AHH AHH AHH AHHH. The second Monkey says well put some bloody cold water in then..."

"Thanks for explaining the word ""many"" to me... It means a lot."

"So Amazon has a new drone delivery service... It's called ""UPS deliverymen."""

"How do you titillate an ocelot? .... .... You oscillate its tit a lot"

"Referring to one's self in the third person is really obnoxious, but you refer to yourself in the second person and it confuses everyone. It's probably why you have no friends."

"I love it when waiters tell me to tell them when to stop grating cheese on my meal. It's cheese, dude. We'll be here a while."

"Why don't blondes wear mini skirts in San Francisco? Their balls will show."