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Joke of the Day

"what tea is hardest to swallow? Reality"

"I love Halloween It's the only time of the year I'm not questioned for giving out sweets to small children."

"Is your name Malaysian Airlines? Cause baby, i'm lost in you."

"Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cantaloupe."

"I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area."

"I'm getting my hacked GTAV account back! Said no one"

"I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy. That shit was expensive. (Crosspost from r/funny. This fits better here.)"

"Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? A: Anything you want. He can't hear you."

"Do you raise chickens? Because you raise my cock."

"A green grape is on a vine next to a purple grape. It looks over, gasps, and says ""BREATHE!"""