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Joke of the Day

"I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area."

"My dad told what the capital of Greece actually is. It's Fathens."

"We don't serve time machines A Time machine walks into a bar"

"Yo Mama So Fat Yo mama so fat that her Schwarzschild radius equals 1 cm."

"Did you know ""bathtub"" backwards is still ""bathtub""? It's not, but for a second there you believed me."

"Jokes are like food... Not everyone gets it."

"Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs"

"In America, the army has read lots of news... In Soviet Russia, the news has lots of Red Army."

"[girl texting me] you left a sprite in my fridge [CUT TO] Me, crossing step one off of my ""secretly move in with her"" plan"

"Stonewall Jackson was usually in charge of confederate forces during the Civil War. Well General Lee i mean."