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Joke of the Day
"I shouldn't type Reddit posts on my phone. The autocorrect is my worst enema."
Next Joke
"Why do flamingos stand on one leg? If they lifted the other leg they'd fall over."
"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."
"What time are you supposed to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!"
"Why did the Baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo"
"What do you call a man with a very long, pointy penis? Lance. I'll see myself out."
"Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave."
"What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero? Are you 0K?"
"""I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but-"" *The Devil appears* ""Please do not advocate for me, you are the fucking worst."""
"Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?"