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Joke of the Day
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm incontinent No time to talk."
Next Joke
"My wife's been working in our garden for two solid days now. I never realized tomatoes required a big, six-foot-deep hole like that."
"I just heard 2 waiters speaking Chinese and then one said very loudly and clearly, 'MEDALLION' so I think some shits about to go down"
"Why do women live longer than men? They're not married to women."
"If really good-looking people are ""eye candy"" I guess that puts me somewhere around the ""eye broccoli"" category."
"Anyone that tells you beer isn't a solution clearly didn't pay attention in science class."
"Where would Helen Keller park her car? On top of three children."
"What goes ""Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, clip clop, clip clop""? Amish drive by shooting."
"How did the crazy man get across the forrest? He took the psycho path. ( )"
"Reporter: How do you feel that your proposal was turned down by Congress? Obama: Well, I've alw-- Biden: [grabs mic] TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?"