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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever heard someone honking so aggressively & for so long that you're like ""this was never about the traffic, was it, buddy?"""

"pleas tune into my next podcast where i ask what the FUCK angry birds is and viciously mock the first piece of shit caller to answer me"

"Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter."

"A girl goes to the gynecologist, and the OB/GYN says ""This might hurt a bit, do you want me to numb it?"" She nodded yes... [NUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUMNUM!](http://i.imgur.com/ZtNtzNP.gif)"

"Whenever someone says they hate cats and they're all shitty and snobby about it, I'm like, ""Weird cuz you behave JUST like one."""

"My ex-girlfriend made a really great cake the other day Getting her legs to fit in the oven was a real hassle, though."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They're stuck up bitches."

"Koi Fish always travel in groups of four That's because while the A Koi, the B Koi and the C Koi escape. The predator will always go after the D Koi"

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."

"How do you make a woman scream? You fuck her in the ass. How do you make her scream again? You wipe your dick off with the drapes."