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Joke of the Day

"I hate bipolar jokes... They're hilarious."

"The Planets 71% water + 29% land = Earth 100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars 100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus 100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury 100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto 100% gas = Uranus"

"A C-string walks into a bar... A C-string walks into a bar and points to a char next to a float. ""Can I join you?"" he asks. The float replies ""You're not my type"" and orders a double."

"I would make a joke about Mexicans... ...but that would be crossing the border"

"Of course I've slept in the wet spot My ex drooled like a Komodo dragon"

"Three Roads To Ruin There are three roads to Ruin - Women, Gambling and Consultants. Women are the nicest, Gambling is the quickest but Consultants are the surest!"

"I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day."

"People that live in glass houses have tons of dead birds on their lawn."

"I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again"

"If there was a way to read a woman's mind...I'm still not sure I'd want too...I hate shoes, shopping, gossip & I already know I'm annoying."